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Merde A La Puissance Treize

In Honour of the Coronation of King Charles III (I’ll give some brief notes below)…

Merde A La Puissance Treize

White worms drop down from pussy’s arse
to join the heaving, cack caked floor.
The flies and mites sup rooster cum
and dance around where rubbers score
fecal byways. By the barn door
a hen sits on her rotting brood;
all maggoty, the sulphurs pour
into the heat where pigs once queued
for lies and pain and carrion food.
God’s animals don’t mind the smell
and defecate right where they sit;
yet barnyard creatures know quite well
that humans, too, are full of shit.


A 13 line sort-of-sonnet. ‘Merde A La Puissance Treize’ translates as ‘shit to the 13th power’. The French abbreviate it as ‘malpt’, and you say malpt to someone by way of wishing them good luck. It’s a bit like the way thesps say ‘break a leg’ by way of wishing someone good luck.

See, it’s all very respectful (Ha!).

ps. oh, and I could add that Westminster Hall, and a large part of Windsor Castle, including St George’s chapel, were all built by a French King. 1066, and all that.

You’ve got to laff…

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Gawd bless yer, Maam…

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