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Ben Warllace in da House...still!

Ben Warllace

I saw this story featuring the decidedly spooky Ben Warllace. It struck me that throughout the Tory leadership ‘Talent Contest’ he was MIA - or rather, I don’t recall hearing a peep either from or about him. He just stealthily passed under the radar, and as far as I can see he is the only actor to have made the transition from the Johnson to the Truss gang unmolested - that is, he retains his role as a demented belligerent.

It’s staggering really when you consider Warllace’s almighty gaff when he was roundly duped by Vovan and Lexus - talk about ‘security threat’!! Surely he ought to have been down the road pronto. But no - he’s still there, talking shit about these 2 special boats.

He must be an untouchable - which lends more credence to the notion that he’s nothing more than a spook - - but then, at this point, isn’t it clear that they’re all spooky to a great/lesser degree.

Speaking at the Conservative Party conference in Birmingham, central England, Wallace spoke about “mysterious damage” inflicted to the pipelines but made clear that he saw the threat to Britain’s infrastructure as coming from Russia.

‘Mysterious damage’?! What utter bullshit!

Warllace says, “…I can announce we have recently committed to two specialist ships with the capability to keep our cables and pipelines safe.”

Really? 2 ships are gonna do that job are they?

And what of the lead-time for this potential game-changing kit!? Wallace said the first “multi-role survey ship for seabed warfare” would be bought this year and would be operational by the end of next year, while the second ship would be built in the United Kingdom.

So we are to believe that these creatures see a threat from Russia - the Russians done the ‘mysterious damage’, and they’ll not stop there so we’ll step-up our defences…at the end of next year!!

Hilarious I tell ya!


I like ‘Warllace’, captures his one and only defining characteristic v neatly. In some ways the UK Defence Minister is utterly irrelevant given that armed forces are firmly under NATO control. But I suspect you’re right @NewSi about our Ben being a Spook. Not Boss level though.

As for these marvellous ships (Reuters blocked me from viewing much more than the first few paragraphs) this sounds like a little bribe to win votes in one or more constituencies, rather than a firm commitment. They wanna fix that aircraft carrier first…

Is it worth it?
A new winter coat and shoes for the wife
And a bicycle on the boy’s birthday.
It’s just a rumor that was spread around town
By the women and children, soon we’ll be shipbuilding

Well I ask you
The boy said 'Dad, they’re going to take me to task
But I’ll be home by Christmas.’
It’s just a rumor that was spread around town [•••]

Within weeks they’ll be reopening the shipyard
And notifying the next of kin


You’re not missing much, K - thin gruel indeed.

Shipbuilding - just perfect.


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